i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
A bitchslap is in order.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
