I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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