Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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