this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
