True but thats because hes a fetus.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the day after is always just damage control
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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