Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
