Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
