Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
