If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
