The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize