my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Randomize
