So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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