ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
