i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just found puke in my bra..
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize