You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
