You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You ruined the universe
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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