I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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