Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
