kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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