and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
we should paint friendship bongs
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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