question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
