Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
