does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
