ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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