Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
