why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
