I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
