He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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