my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
