i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
