Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
