all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
