You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
