Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
