You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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