i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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