no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
