youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
