Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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