It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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