she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize