he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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