That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
