Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
