Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
