My liver just broke up with me...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
