if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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