eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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