Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
