Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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