Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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