I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
