I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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