in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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