What did we do last night that was yellow?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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