i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
