k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
and she was petting her beer can
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize