Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She said her name was "party"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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