Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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