my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
