One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
