remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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