he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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