I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just googled if crying burns calories
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
