Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
this is an emotional support booty call
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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